So, I recently started working as an ESL tutor, and the guy in the picture was one of my students. Before our class, I was able to get a preview of him since previous teachers can leave comments, which are available for others to see. Reading through the evaluations, I was honestly a bit creeped out because every tutor seemed to say the same thing about him.
Apparently, he does the same routine every day, and it has been going on for the past two years. First, he shows pictures of flowers he says he took. Then, he shares pictures of his two-year-old granddaughter. After that, he meditates. Out of nowhere, he suddenly reads Chapter 29 from Anne of Green Gables, then meditates again. At some point, he plays Amazing Grace on his harmonica. And then… the cycle repeats.
I felt nervous. I didn’t know what to expect. I didn’t want to rely too much on the previous teachers’ comments or judge the student before even meeting him. At the same time, I didn’t want to dismiss the teachers’ observations—they had every right to share their experiences.
And then, I finally met him.
They were right.
I didn’t know how to feel—I was conflicted. At first, I was both excited and nervous. But as our session went on, I found myself feeling both happy and sad at the same time. I struggled to put into words what I had just experienced.
I used to think that being a psychologist or psychiatrist might suit me. But after that encounter, I started to question myself. If I were to face a similar situation—or something even more bizarre —how capable would I really be?
Despite how excited he seemed about his routine, I just couldn’t share the same feeling. I was deeply anxious . There was something almost beautiful about seeing him in his own world, completely oblivious to reality. In a way, I even felt a bit envious of him. But at the same time, I couldn’t shake the sadness.
One thing is for sure, though—that experience made me reflect on a lot of things in my life.
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