I was hoping you're worth it. (Edited)

When you first came into my life,
I honestly didn't want to get involved with anyone.
I wasn't even looking.
And I'm not even sure if I'm capable of it(loving).
I am at that point in life that I am
thinking maybe I'm just meant to be alone.

no one to care, just an unwanted person no one cares about..

Unfortunately, YOU came. (ruining everything)

All of a sudden something has changed.

Suddenly, I become hopeful. (Yup, It was your fault. Nahh, It was all me. But it is better to be you since you don't care anyway.)

Like maybe I wasn't really meant to be alone after all. (I guess this was my blindspot, influenced by the sense that I am one of those girls who needs to be saving by someone, obviously driven by the idea of Prince Charming)

I am well aware of the risk that I'm going to take allowing you to be part of my life. 

(Pfffh, either, I was blinded or just completely manipulated by it)

I've thought about it a lot, (Maybe not really a lot)  if will it be worth it? ( clearly not enough thinking)

I must admit at first, I was so reluctant and really afraid. 

Afraid to show you my true self, my vulnerabilities, and my insecurities. (My poor innocence )
or that what if you're just going to hurt me, and I don't think I'm ready for that. 

But then, I guess I was being impulsive and blinded and soooo naive with what I thought is love.

It seems like nothing matters but you, (shame on you) That finally, I have someone in my life. (poor me)

I was hoping you're worth it.

I really do.

Until YOU are not. (YAY! Finally!)


We had a misunderstanding,, like most relationships I supposed. (or so what I thought was just normal in every relationship. hey, forgive me! how'd I really know, I don't have a lot of experience when it comes to dating, I was n-a-i-v-e)


Until I felt I no longer matter to you. (how dare you!)

And I felt you're drifting away,..(Thank you!)

And it seems like impossible to approach you anymore. (You did well)

I tried to reach out. (I shouldn't) 

But I realized I'm only human. (Good job for realizing that) 

I got tired. (nothing new, I've always been lazy anyway, so)

I suddenly feel pathetic. ( Saaad.)

So I decided I'm done.(YAAAS!)

I was more than willing to fight. (at that time, unforch yes)

But then I felt alone, I felt I was the only one who wanted it. (turn out I was really the only one. my poor self)

And so again...I am alone. (tap, tap)



However, I have no regrets. 

I was happy (for some of it) and for me, that's what makes it worthwhile.

I was grateful for the quiet moments we shared together even it was just for a little while. (not anymore, really)



At times I still do think about you. ( again, my poor self)

It wasn't easy. I kept thinking about what I could have said and done to keep you. (took just a little while )

But it made no sense of course if I was the only one hoping..(purely nonsense)



Now it seems like we're just back to the beginning, back to being stranger. (should have been really in the first place)

Though I may still be hurting and that there's a hole (you perv mind) in my heart right now,

I know what we had has already ended. (srsly, it shouldn't have started in the first place)

I know I have to let go of your promises and words, (they don't even have any meaning at all.

(i was just a fool to believe)

because I still have a heart to heal and a life to live.

so that I can make a space for what's to come.


It may take time and I don't know how long will it be. 
but I know that this tears will dry up soon,
this sleepless night will soon be over, 
and this pain will surely help me be better and stronger. (most definitely it will!)


And that someday I can look back on what we had with a genuine smile.:-D Ugggh, thank God it was over! (RELIEF!)