I was hoping you're worth it. (Edited)

When you first came into my life,

I honestly didn’t want to get involved with anyone.

I wasn’t even looking.

And I wasn’t even sure if I was capable of it (loving).

I was at that point in life where I thought,

Maybe I’m just meant to be alone.

No one to care for, just an unwanted person no one cares about.

Unfortunately, YOU came. (Ruining everything.)

All of a sudden, something changed.

Suddenly, I became hopeful. (Yup, it was your fault. Nahh, it was all me. But it’s better to blame you since you don’t care anyway.)

Like maybe I wasn’t really meant to be alone after all.

(I guess this was my blind spot—driven by the idea that I’m one of those girls who need saving, obviously influenced by the Prince Charming fantasy.)

I was well aware of the risk of letting you into my life.

(Pfffh, either I was blinded or completely manipulated by it.)

I thought about it a lot. (Maybe not really a lot.)

Was it worth it? (Clearly, not enough thinking was involved.)

I must admit, at first, I was reluctant and really afraid.

Afraid to show you my true self, my vulnerabilities, and my insecurities. (My poor innocence.)

Afraid that you’d hurt me, and I wasn’t sure I was ready for that.

But then, I guess I was impulsive, blinded, and soooo naïve about what I thought was love.

It seemed like nothing else mattered but you. (Shame on you.)

Finally, I had someone in my life. (Poor me.)

I was hoping you were worth it.

I really, really was.

Until… YOU WEREN’T. (YAY! Finally!)

We had a misunderstanding—like most relationships, I supposed. (Or so I thought was normal. Forgive me! How would I know? I was n-a-i-v-e.)

Until I felt like I no longer mattered to you. (How dare you!)

And I felt you drifting away… (Thank you!)

And suddenly, it seemed impossible to reach you. (Well done.)

I tried to hold on. (I shouldn’t have.)

But I realized—I’m only human. (Good job for realizing that.)

I got tired. (Nothing new—I’ve always been lazy anyway.)

I suddenly felt pathetic. (Saaad.)

So, I decided I was done. (YAAAS!)

I was more than willing to fight. (At the time. Unfortunately, yes.)

But then, I felt alone—like I was the only one who wanted it.

(Turns out, I really was the only one. My poor self.)

And so, once again… I was alone. (Tap, tap.)

However, I have no regrets.

I was happy (for some of it), and for me, that’s what made it worthwhile.

I was grateful for the quiet moments we shared, even if they were short-lived. (Not anymore, really.)

At times, I still think about you. (Again, my poor self.)

It wasn’t easy. I kept wondering what I could have said or done to make you stay. (Luckily, that didn’t last long.)

But, of course, it made no sense if I was the only one hoping. (Pure nonsense.)

Now, we’re just back to where we started—back to being strangers. (Which is where we should have stayed in the first place.)

Though I may still be hurting, though there’s a hole (don’t get any ideas, you perv) in my heart right now,

I know what we had is over. (Seriously, it shouldn’t have even started.)

I know I have to let go of your words and promises. (Not that they meant anything anyway. I was just a fool to believe them.)

Because I still have a heart to heal and a life to live.

So that I can make space for what’s to come.

It may take time—I don’t know how long.

But I know these tears will dry up soon,

these sleepless nights will end,

and this pain will only make me better and stronger. (Most definitely, it will!)

And one day, I’ll look back at all of this with a genuine smile.

Ugggh, thank God it’s over! (RELIEF!)